I am sure there are a lot of times, things would have been falling apart... nothing seems to be just right. Actually, I’d rather say - nothing seems just & right! Not sure why exactly do we have to go through such moments. There are times, where just until now, you were humming, "all is well..." and in a fraction of moment, the world seems to have to come to a standstill. Not sure why how who caused it?? Not even sure if it’s really your karma causing it. But things have to happen, and in spite of bad things happening more frequently than the good ones, I strongly believe they happen for a reason. They happen for good. The end will always be good. That’s not meagerly an optimistic approach but I guess that's something I have come to believe with all the bad happenings in the past and leading to a good ending.
We all yearn to please all around us at all points in time under all possible circumstances. Such an unrealistic goal… It's practically an unimaginable, to make sure every single existing being loves n likes us at all points in time. Still, somehow we have this irrational need. There is something inside us, which makes us uncomfortable, if you figure out that you are the cause of hatred surviving in someone's heart. Honestly, hatred is a very strong word to use. We struggle to fit into the liked ones category in everyone’s life. You have to make it to the inner circle of their lives... just quietly ask yourself, why? How does it really matter if there are a bundle of people who don't think you are the best person ever? But strangely it does.
Let's also acknowledge that this is a matter of degree. It’s not an absolute phenomenon. Our want keeps ranging from not being hated, to not being indifferent to being liked to fondness. we keep playing around in these zones, and keep wanting to only rise high up the value chain of being liked more n more and being admired more and more.
The most interesting part is you as an individual are also the center of the universe for all the rest around you. So technically you must too, like and love them all. Possible??? The simple answer is no. However, when it comes to you being the center, you have all the valid reasons to not like most - ya, most people around you. You can justify your changing views, emotions and feelings towards each one around you. And while you are justifying you make sure to highlight that this isn't an explanation to anything unfair, you have empathized, sympathize, done it all, figured it all and now u are sure to make a remark, that in a situation like this, you would have never done anything remotely close to what he/ she did. So, now bang on - you have every right to make an opinion about the person, the situation and the verdict: I like you or I don’t like u, whichever, but my feelings are all right about u.
In my studying and practicing of psychology I was a strong believer in the REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy). In fact I remember that it did help a lot of people, the therapy really has some mind boggling outcomes. Now for my non-psychology friendly readers here, REBT is a therapy that helps us tone down our irrational beliefs. Such as the one I m talking about here, of being loved and liked by all at all points in time. In spite of all the faith in psychology, I am compelled to think, why do we really think the way we do? I mean on the one hand why must be one liked by all and on the other why not - It’s an awesome feeling...
I guess there is a new theory waiting to just be discovered! We humans like to play it safe. Especially with our own selves. You could take all that risk for the adrenaline rush one speaks about, with your career, with your significant others in life - friends, family, loved ones... but when it comes to "U", you'd like to play it safe. we safeguard our true selves so well, that even u can't hate you for things that are obviously bad in you, so then when others pick those up in various incidents of life, where un consciously there has been a slip / an accidental showcase of a true you, you are flabbergasted. That’s then a good enough reason to put you back in your shell of not letting anyone know u, the real u.
It’s kind of dramatic, how people could get to like or not like you, even without a true opportunity to know u. The sad part is that the actual judgment is already made before they have really known u. Then we are all working backwards, to undo all that caused the bad. Maybe that’s why the pressure of being liked by all at all points in time under all possible situations. Since that would certainly save us the trouble of all the re-work.
Like the last time, I am going to take your leave by letting u ponder over something... You think relationships, emotions and feelings will all still be the same if we did not have this unstoppable urge to be loved and liked by all... at all times!! Think over it, and let me know your views...
I'd love to read your comments!
