Just another day, just another time, when u are maybe in the shower, maybe cooking, maybe driving, maybe getting dressed for work, attempting to watch television or even pretending to chill out with friends... after a couple of minutes later u'd realize, u actually were able to express yourself the best, you have just finished the most fantastic conversation ever cud have happened. The only oops factor being that the conversation happened in your head... so it was said but not heard..!!
Mostly such conversations are with the people that in real life when given a chance u'd ideally avoid having this conversation or explaining your. That's probably another reason why u had this conversation in your head, u don't get threatening questions, no one interrupts u, u actually end up finishing all u have to say without getting judged and finally feel relieved, guilt free and peaceful having explained all you wished. Its like the perfect conversation ever.
The worry is sometimes you end up having these conversations so frequently in your head, like u can almost hear your thoughts and u wish u could focus else where. The poor person with whom you wish to have this conversation or may be not have this conversation ends up getting blamed for these repeated thoughts in your head. Finally, there would come a time when u'd feel like u did explain all of what u thought to this person, coz the talk in your head was so real!
There are both good and bad emotional outcomes of these inevitable conversations. The good being that temporary feeling of relief of having said all you ever wanted to... the bad is having to deal with the person concerned in future. Now why is that bad is the obvious question...!
Let me tell you why, simply because according to you, all was explained long back, the end of the conversation was so good. we all agreed and walked out happy of that conversation. No burden left no guilt left. Then now yet again, why is this person pretending to not understand me, or going back to historical events that make us feel bad? Simple answer .. yet again! You actually never had this conversation with this person. Hence, not clarified.
Life at times is more complicated than we think we could make it, yet more simple that u cud ever imagine it to be. We sometimes wonder if only there was a way to simplify life and there are times without knowing u end up making a mess of things because of all these conversations u have had in your head. The problem is the monologue! When u actually speak to the other person that probably u have been avoiding for all the right reasons u get to know his/her side of the story or justifications too. Its not hard to believe that if you have been thinking so much about a person, u wudn't be getting as much attention in this person's life. Maybe they wish to have this conversation with you too.
Only one of the two of you cannot be liberated of the guilt, anger, frustration or any emotion - its a mutual thing, its interlinked. Maybe the conversation would be odd, the moments mostly would be awkward, the emotions would ride higher than logic and the intent of having a conversation, but give it a shot. Let the talk really happen. Give yourself an opportunity, one chance to not only say it all - but hear it all too...
We all carry baggage's, no one will ever be able to relate to the load u carry unless u allow him to shed off some of his weight too. Its a simple give and take, maybe of good, maybe of bad, maybe of nothingness!!
