Only Me ruchi: A date with yourself

Only Me ruchi: A date with yourself: Joe decided to go for a stroll in the park near his house. The idea of a walk was tiring; somehow he still decided to go ahead. It’s been a ...

A date with yourself

Joe decided to go for a stroll in the park near his house. The idea of a walk was tiring; somehow he still decided to go ahead. It’s been a while since he had spent some quality time with himself. As he grabbed his jacket a bazillion thoughts run past his mind. It’s only when he tripped on one of the stair he realized he had already locked the house and was out half way to the park.

The noise on the street, the traffic, buzzing of people all around him, seemed loud enough yet nothing could distract him enough. He was still thinking about the unfinished painting he had been working on for days now. The story of unfinished business is kind of catchy. Before you know it you have already thought of all the things that seem to have stuck en route – books, holiday plans, goals, dreams, wishes, desires, thoughts, conversations and plenty more.

The train of thoughts in Joe’s head seemed to be running faster than the TGV in France. The serenity of the park appeared to have ignited the brain work more. It was almost a compulsive behavior to link all the unfinished business in life to his incapacities. This is what disturbed him. He had achieved enough in life. He was one of the best student in school, the most applauded kid at home, had done all he could in his capacity to be a great friend to few folks he wanted to, achieved enough and more accolade in career, a caring and loving father, the prince charming kind of husband..!!

Everyone around him seemed more than happy with him yet something was still missing…

Peace of mind, satisfaction, or maybe some kind of actualization of the self!

All the happiness in life and the picture of the perfect life seemed to appear in black & white – something deep inside yearned for the colors in life!

By now Joe had forgot the count of the number of rounds he took in the park. He sat down on a bench under the mimosa tree. Something about watching random people in the park made him smile. It’s funny how observing people around gives you a quite glimpse into their lives. Their expressions, their frowns, their smiles, the tiny giggles, the lost lonely ones… they all tell a story, you just need to step out of your own pre-occupied minds and you see a world full of interesting stories.

These random observations drifted from people to two sparrows totally engrossed in making their nest. The two sparrows kept struggling, working hard and gradually giving the nest a final shape. Their passion and undivided attention until they finished working on the nest was astonishing.

Joe almost felt a connection with the birds. It compelled him to simplify life. We all are born into nests made by someone else, nests which are someone else’s dreams… these dreamers want one thing – your safety, and offer you bundles of love and care.

Give it moment think about your parents, what do they ask of you – some would say “nothing” and some would say “quite a lot” – net net – less or more all connects to a single thought – “you” should be happy and safe!

The same thing gets instilled in you – you work hard, you give your best to life, to work, to home, to family to make sure those who constitute to make your life – your dream, the ones who give a purpose to your life should be happy and safe.

Like a light bulb that lights on Jerry’s head as in “tom & jerry show”, a light bulb lit on Joe’s head!! Looks like he had done a lot to claim the best in all spheres of life, yet life is not only about building the best nest… Bringing in the best food once the eggs hatch… It’s much more than that. Tons more!!

Joe contemplated – is it about spending quality time with friends & family… he was sure doing that, and hence was the best at home and outside of home - both. He knew this concept was much larger than just doing all the right things for the right people.

Life is not about duties and responsibilities alone. It’s also not about the well-defined rules of society and our value system.

It’s your life... It’s about you…!

The sad part is we realize this only after a lot of life has passed, coz till then you are only running to make sure all that needs to be done, must be done – is not only done, but done well!! Bravo!! You did it.

Now welcome back to your life – what do you want to do with it?

Joe thought about the birds again. After a wonderful nest is made, the eggs are laid, they hatch, the tiny birds are fed, they are taught to fly, survive, and live on… the tiny birds fly away!! Leaving the beautiful, painfully made nest behind, the memories of sacrifices made to feed the baby birds, the struggles of protecting the weaklings, the dreams to see them fly high up in the sky…!

But life doesn’t end there, that’s not the only purpose of life – although that is one of the significant things in life since a lot of your life and you gets defined by it… but yet again Joe thought – “my life cannot be only about doing all that I ought to do… there’s got to be a larger purpose to life.”

The purpose was still unidentified – but just the thought of identifying what was the cause of discomfort in his life – Joe felt a sense of relief. He knew what needs to be figured out next. It’s the life that birds need to plan and live after their tiny tots had learned to fly and were gone already! It cannot be a life of meager existence, it had to be more meaningful and richer experience that’s self-fulfilling, satisfying, and peaceful.

Joe got up from the park bench sort of thanking the mimosa tree and the birds with a great smile and started walking back to his house. Even before he could step out of the park a call from work took all his attention and got him engrossed into pushing the team to ensure the numbers were met for the company to achieve the targets. Life as we know it – had taken over yet again.

Joe still had a contented peaceful look on his face as he at least knew what he needs to look for in his life – beyond work, family, love, kids, and duties…

His date with himself at the park ended well… he knew this date could lead to a meaningful relationship with himself!!

When was the last time you took time to date yourself?  J

Only Me ruchi: Emptying your closets

Only Me ruchi: Emptying your closets: About a month ago a friend was shifting base from one continent to another. The most basic thing in such situation, as one would imagine wou...

Emptying your closets

About a month ago a friend was shifting base from one continent to another. The most basic thing in such situation, as one would imagine would be “packing the stuff”.  Well we too had numerous conversations around packing and then timelines and then delaying and then finally packing again. When we had these conversations there was an incomplete thought in my mind which recently finished when I had to pack up my stuff to move base.

The point is not about packing. It’s much larger – it’s about emptying your closets.

Whatever you gathered – you hoarded – you were fixated too… all comes pouring out – when you empty the closets! Things, moments, memories, mistakes, weaknesses, and all that’s ‘you’ and is hidden deep somewhere in some closet. Interestingly all these things neither grow nor die locked in that closet. They just show themselves when you allow them to.

You don’t need to move base to empty your closets – try pouring your heart out to someone – this would lead to sorting of thoughts. But that’s not where it ends… this is just the cleansing process!

The true realizations don’t strike when you are cleaning these closets – that’s just the time of sorting them out – most of the stuff peacefully would settle back in as you would be able to justify in your head that how important all that is to you.

The time to let go happens when you need to pack your life into a couple of suitcases – no lift and shift allowed. That’s when the interesting realization of what belongs with you for life and what doesn’t happens.

Same applies to your heart. In most of the scenarios we behave like movers and packers and safely pack all that’s been with you – whether yours still or not ! You keep carrying the extra load from one destination to another that life takes you to. And every time you land into a new location you come with the same excess baggage and life seems to be a drag of the past.

Do you still think it’s only about letting go? I seriously doubt that. I think it’s about making peace. With who you are and not what you use to be... With your present and not what you would like to do or have… It’s about making peace with your own greatness of having lived an accomplished life, rather than holding on to morsels of stolen moments from the past

It’s much greater than letting go, it’s about continuity of life

Therefore, all that belongs with you for life is only what’s yours now – this moment. No matter how strongly you feel for what was or what ought to be – it’s all going to be safely placed in a closet and not come in handy!

Live in the moment – when there is no baggage no longing no load – you feel so much lighter and you feel free to enjoy life every bit – like a globe trekker.

Looks like it takes a lifetime to know what it really means to travel light! And trust me it all begins with emptying your closets!!