A recent conversation with a friend on buying a house brought this interesting thought. She seems to be in the "just looking" mode now, yet, so sure of what she wants, yet, not fully aware of what is she looking for...
A simple flow of conversation about customizing the house made me wonder isn't that exactly how we deal with our lives. Some of us are comfortable with the kind of house that's most easily available, some like specific customizations, some are happy with little opportunities and flexibility and some need to build the whole thing their way!
So is the life. If you see the path of your life laid out for you, step by step and all you gotta do is walk then you are probably living a life architected by someone else. You no longer are the designer of your own life. You are the convenient tenant in your own life, where someone else calls all the shots.
No matter how the days are passing by, there never is a dull moment in life. Really, think hard, something or the other will keep challenging you in some way or the other. Although, getting a hang of what gives you the kick and what bores you to death could be a long drawn tiring process. Most often this journey of self exploration is loaded with days of frustration that makes you wonder what the hell are you doing with your life and where are you headed...
In times such as these the true test of your own power comes in, do you try to follow your own navigation system - be your own pilot, be the co-pilot - take help from the special few, or just let anyone and everyone take over while you sit there wearing a seat belt and not wanting to take charge.
This is not really an argument to support independence or self esteem, hence the point is not that always be your own pilot - your own navigation system sometimes could completely throw you way off course. It's at this point - of being off the course that is the most dangerous - cause now you are at your vulnerable best to surrender to 911... sadly whoever first answers your call gets to be your Maester... the half backed problem solver of your life!
These Maesters can actually be some people with very genuine intentions to help you so that you do the right thing and get back on a right track in life. Sadly enough these right things and the right tracks are decided by these helpers. We learn to fool ourselves into this guided, directed life by others in various ways. Some of us just find it simpler to let someone else do all the analysis and tell you a practical doable solution. Some of us just pretend to be naive that even though someone is piloting my life, or is the architect of the house that i have to eventually live in every single day of my life - one fine day things will fall in place just the way I'd rather have them done.
The essence of the matter is that by letting people pave the path of our life we conveniently step aside from taking the responsibility of our own life, and these "helping buddies" conveniently take over all the responsibility. They are not intruders you have red carpeted them in your life to rule your life!
Interestingly it doesn't end here. There is an exorbitant price you have to pay to give your life away. It's not your life anymore, it's a projection of someone else's life that now you are so familiar with that it feels like your own life.
Even more interesting is the fact that a majority of us are doing this without even acknowledging it, some of us think nothing can change now, this is how my life has been and will be, some of us want to do something but don't know how...??
If you are in the cage and enjoy being powerless, it's ok. If you do want to change things then the first thing would be take back the ownership of your own life. This is much easier said than done, as someone who is in the comfortable passenger seat has now to take on the steering wheel and the navigator's hat and be responsible for all the good bad and ugly in your own life. BIG TASK. Since it's so simple to blame, not having someone to blame for your life's choices but yourself - Big Big Task.
What do you think could be the biggest road block in getting the gears in your own hand? Your regret that you should have taken charge of your life earlier... You ought to be doing more hard work in life than you use to... Not really...
The biggest challenge will be to overcome the habit of support from your so called well wishers and create a healthy space between your life and your relationships - especially the knights of your life who come to protect you everyday in every walk of life.
The problem is it is not easy to recognize these people in your life who have their own "agendas"
A simple solution is - don't go out there fixing their agendas or trying to fix these people - else you would have soon crossed over to the dark side and be one of them. Just focus on having your own agenda for your own life and living it with full responsibility.
Good Luck - and don't worry. Your life is your own song - sing it your way - no one else knows the lyrics better than you... :)
A simple flow of conversation about customizing the house made me wonder isn't that exactly how we deal with our lives. Some of us are comfortable with the kind of house that's most easily available, some like specific customizations, some are happy with little opportunities and flexibility and some need to build the whole thing their way!
So is the life. If you see the path of your life laid out for you, step by step and all you gotta do is walk then you are probably living a life architected by someone else. You no longer are the designer of your own life. You are the convenient tenant in your own life, where someone else calls all the shots.
No matter how the days are passing by, there never is a dull moment in life. Really, think hard, something or the other will keep challenging you in some way or the other. Although, getting a hang of what gives you the kick and what bores you to death could be a long drawn tiring process. Most often this journey of self exploration is loaded with days of frustration that makes you wonder what the hell are you doing with your life and where are you headed...
In times such as these the true test of your own power comes in, do you try to follow your own navigation system - be your own pilot, be the co-pilot - take help from the special few, or just let anyone and everyone take over while you sit there wearing a seat belt and not wanting to take charge.
This is not really an argument to support independence or self esteem, hence the point is not that always be your own pilot - your own navigation system sometimes could completely throw you way off course. It's at this point - of being off the course that is the most dangerous - cause now you are at your vulnerable best to surrender to 911... sadly whoever first answers your call gets to be your Maester... the half backed problem solver of your life!
These Maesters can actually be some people with very genuine intentions to help you so that you do the right thing and get back on a right track in life. Sadly enough these right things and the right tracks are decided by these helpers. We learn to fool ourselves into this guided, directed life by others in various ways. Some of us just find it simpler to let someone else do all the analysis and tell you a practical doable solution. Some of us just pretend to be naive that even though someone is piloting my life, or is the architect of the house that i have to eventually live in every single day of my life - one fine day things will fall in place just the way I'd rather have them done.
The essence of the matter is that by letting people pave the path of our life we conveniently step aside from taking the responsibility of our own life, and these "helping buddies" conveniently take over all the responsibility. They are not intruders you have red carpeted them in your life to rule your life!
Interestingly it doesn't end here. There is an exorbitant price you have to pay to give your life away. It's not your life anymore, it's a projection of someone else's life that now you are so familiar with that it feels like your own life.
Even more interesting is the fact that a majority of us are doing this without even acknowledging it, some of us think nothing can change now, this is how my life has been and will be, some of us want to do something but don't know how...??
If you are in the cage and enjoy being powerless, it's ok. If you do want to change things then the first thing would be take back the ownership of your own life. This is much easier said than done, as someone who is in the comfortable passenger seat has now to take on the steering wheel and the navigator's hat and be responsible for all the good bad and ugly in your own life. BIG TASK. Since it's so simple to blame, not having someone to blame for your life's choices but yourself - Big Big Task.
What do you think could be the biggest road block in getting the gears in your own hand? Your regret that you should have taken charge of your life earlier... You ought to be doing more hard work in life than you use to... Not really...
The biggest challenge will be to overcome the habit of support from your so called well wishers and create a healthy space between your life and your relationships - especially the knights of your life who come to protect you everyday in every walk of life.
The problem is it is not easy to recognize these people in your life who have their own "agendas"
A simple solution is - don't go out there fixing their agendas or trying to fix these people - else you would have soon crossed over to the dark side and be one of them. Just focus on having your own agenda for your own life and living it with full responsibility.
Good Luck - and don't worry. Your life is your own song - sing it your way - no one else knows the lyrics better than you... :)
