Sunday, November 9, 2014
Only Me ruchi: Hit the ceiling Yet..!!
Only Me ruchi: Hit the ceiling Yet..!!: Someone chewing the food too loudly, the dog not behaving, your child not attending to the studies, husband taking forever to get home, you...
Hit the ceiling Yet..!!
Someone chewing the food too loudly, the dog not behaving, your child not attending to the studies, husband taking forever to get home, your boss overriding your ideas and the list can go on with the most routine, rubbish things - that could make you angry "everyday" "any day" and unbearably !
If the above defines you, or is cutting close to where you are headed then by all means - you have or are about to hit the ceiling! I on the other hand feel like I hit the ceiling a few times a day and then i go on to hit all the other ceilings there are...
Well there are a mountain things that could make you mad and make you lose your temper. The reason - well there are times when you do not need a reason to lose your calm, there are times when it can be a silly thing that could blow your top and there are times when you'd argue that you DO truly deserve to be angry. The interesting thing is there is no reason - rather no kind of reason that could be justified true enough - to be angry.
Anger is like hate. It starts in your gut. It churns and builds up and then rises like a volcano. It shows in your eyes, on your face... there is a complete audio visual behavioral biological chemical all in one kind of recipe that makes anger what it truly is.
Depending on your sensory preference you would show your anger either audibly - by screaming or saying something nasty, visually - by displaying the angry look on your face or in a a kinesthetic way by either storming out of the situation or probably by punching the source of your anger :)
Why do we get angry?
Well am sure every single time you got angry if you think of it you would be able to justify your anger in one way or the other. Absolutely true, i agree it is explainable and just. But why in the first place did that churning in your stomach start that lead to the volcano to erupt. In my view we completely lose it when someone or something puts us in a situation that had compromised the value we give ourselves, our self-respect and self worth.
Think about it, a parent screams at a child because he or she said something that the child disobeyed. The problem causing anger here is not that the child is not doing the right thing instead its the fact that I the parent who holds more authority than the meagre child is being disrespected and is not being valued by not being obeyed. There - that's what is pissing you off!! Your own judgement of your self worth and how should you be treated to maintain that worth.
Interestingly, in this same example - the child will never really learn what you are trying to teach him / her - cause the punishment or scolding he received was completely irrelevant to him. Thus, there is no use of your screaming and guess what now you have truly reduced the value that you have, thus, making yourself angrier. Congratulations!!
Another cause for you building up a storm in life could be your expectations from everyone and everything. It took me a long time to begin making peace with the fact that our expectations are our assumptions in our own happy fairy tale and the minute they leave our minds kingdom they have zero value to someone else - to anyone else. This is true for a very simple reason - they have their own set of expectations and there is no room for yours.
I have come to believe that the more someone is angry - expressively or passive-aggressively in either case the angry person is a sad person. Now let's take a step back, think about it. Anyone who is screaming and yelling or sulking and brooding way too much - look around that person. what is missing? why is he / she hurting?
Something is usually majorly wrong around every angry person and every angry person can usually be termed as a sad person. If you are angry - think, whats hurting you so bad that the hurt is coming out screaming... you may not start by enrolling for anger management but start with a tiny bit of reflection, a lil peak into your heart as to what is going on, whats missing, whats causing the pain...?
If you are not able to figure out the why then move on to the next step. Try engaging in things that make you happy, lighten you up, make you stress free. Now do a check - do you get less angry these days.. ? If the answer is yes... it was totally worth your time reading all this rambling i did...
Stay happy, Stay Calm !
If the above defines you, or is cutting close to where you are headed then by all means - you have or are about to hit the ceiling! I on the other hand feel like I hit the ceiling a few times a day and then i go on to hit all the other ceilings there are...
Well there are a mountain things that could make you mad and make you lose your temper. The reason - well there are times when you do not need a reason to lose your calm, there are times when it can be a silly thing that could blow your top and there are times when you'd argue that you DO truly deserve to be angry. The interesting thing is there is no reason - rather no kind of reason that could be justified true enough - to be angry.
Anger is like hate. It starts in your gut. It churns and builds up and then rises like a volcano. It shows in your eyes, on your face... there is a complete audio visual behavioral biological chemical all in one kind of recipe that makes anger what it truly is.
Depending on your sensory preference you would show your anger either audibly - by screaming or saying something nasty, visually - by displaying the angry look on your face or in a a kinesthetic way by either storming out of the situation or probably by punching the source of your anger :)
Why do we get angry?
Well am sure every single time you got angry if you think of it you would be able to justify your anger in one way or the other. Absolutely true, i agree it is explainable and just. But why in the first place did that churning in your stomach start that lead to the volcano to erupt. In my view we completely lose it when someone or something puts us in a situation that had compromised the value we give ourselves, our self-respect and self worth.
Think about it, a parent screams at a child because he or she said something that the child disobeyed. The problem causing anger here is not that the child is not doing the right thing instead its the fact that I the parent who holds more authority than the meagre child is being disrespected and is not being valued by not being obeyed. There - that's what is pissing you off!! Your own judgement of your self worth and how should you be treated to maintain that worth.
Interestingly, in this same example - the child will never really learn what you are trying to teach him / her - cause the punishment or scolding he received was completely irrelevant to him. Thus, there is no use of your screaming and guess what now you have truly reduced the value that you have, thus, making yourself angrier. Congratulations!!
Another cause for you building up a storm in life could be your expectations from everyone and everything. It took me a long time to begin making peace with the fact that our expectations are our assumptions in our own happy fairy tale and the minute they leave our minds kingdom they have zero value to someone else - to anyone else. This is true for a very simple reason - they have their own set of expectations and there is no room for yours.
I have come to believe that the more someone is angry - expressively or passive-aggressively in either case the angry person is a sad person. Now let's take a step back, think about it. Anyone who is screaming and yelling or sulking and brooding way too much - look around that person. what is missing? why is he / she hurting?
Something is usually majorly wrong around every angry person and every angry person can usually be termed as a sad person. If you are angry - think, whats hurting you so bad that the hurt is coming out screaming... you may not start by enrolling for anger management but start with a tiny bit of reflection, a lil peak into your heart as to what is going on, whats missing, whats causing the pain...?
If you are not able to figure out the why then move on to the next step. Try engaging in things that make you happy, lighten you up, make you stress free. Now do a check - do you get less angry these days.. ? If the answer is yes... it was totally worth your time reading all this rambling i did...
Stay happy, Stay Calm !
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)