Only Me ruchi: Stay in your Lane

Only Me ruchi: Stay in your Lane: It’s been a busy week..! I am so tempted to complete that sentence by “at work” but that won’t be necessarily true. It’s convenient to b...

Stay in your Lane

It’s been a busy week..! I am so tempted to complete that sentence by “at work” but that won’t be necessarily true. It’s convenient to blame work for your lack of hours in the day. Although, that may not be completely true. We all have tons to do at home, for our self, for the kids and then a busy day at work may seem to hit on your last nerve. My long distance commute and exhausted brain got me to think that what really exhausts us may not necessarily be the number of hours at work or the list of chores that patiently awaits your coming home, it could simply be a stumble upon someone’s nose that you happen to find in your business.

Strangely enough, all that we need to for our personal sanity and all the way up to “world peace” is one simple mantra – “Stay in your lane” – mind your own business, do not mess with others! Yeah, you read that right, the amount of energy it takes to mess with others life can be draining enough for you – you may not realize it in the moment of getting the cheap thrills of messing with others, but life for you isn’t good either when you mess with others.

Think of the simple analogy in real sense for a bit – you are driving on a freeway at an average speed of 70-75 miles/hr.  Life is good, moving ahead smooth and steady, you know nothing needs to change for a good number of miles. When does the trouble begin? Only when either you or someone around you refuses to stay in the lane! Simple!

Life my friend is just the same – stay in your lane and life is good! The trouble in life happens when either you enter a different lane or when someone else enters your lane… just like you know that people are clueless about your life, your life choices and the good bad and ugly that you’ve been through – you equally have no idea what their journey has been like! So quit messing around and mind your own damn business.

As annoying as it is to have someone else poke their nose into your life, it’s probably even more exhausting when you do the same to others. Entering another lane isn’t easy in heavy traffic on a freeway. You take calculated risks, you have to time it well and you need to avoid accidents by all means. If you end up making a mistake you are going to have to pay for it. If you think too much is going on, take a break and think – have you been visiting too many other lanes lately –if the answer is yes, stop right away. Maybe it’s time to visit the rest area – go get coffee…

Interestingly enough, this is also the mantra for your professional success. Every successful & accomplished person you think about did what they had to do and not everyone else’s job. Everyone you see struggling at work or having a rough day at work is either dealing with someone trying to break into their lanes or is troubled because they themselves are trying to barge into someone else’s lane.

When people focus on their job, their deliverables without focusing on everyone else’s job the only way out is success. When people live their own lives without focusing on others the outcome is happiness!

Stay in your lane and keep moving forward!

 

 

The Good Witch

So I was having this quite Sunday evening  and surprisingly enough I had the TV left alone for me. For some strange reason Shaury had decided to play with his toys, explore his books and do everything else but watch TV!! What’s even more surprising is that at that very moment there was actually something nice on tv!! So I sat down to watch the series of “The Good Witch”.

The movie just reassured my belief in magic. Ah, don’t worry am not going to turn this blog into one of those Harry Potter kind series – although I enjoyed all the movies, but still – NO. That’s not the kind of magic I am talking about. The simple belief that – all that happens, happens for good – is a sort of magic, a mother putting a baby down to sleep is magic, a smell from long long ago reminding you of summers at your granny’s is magic, in the deepest darkest times you still hope for good is magic, you finding the love of your life in the strangest ways is magic!!

There is a lil bit of magic in every walk of life. We all believe in it in our own secret and discrete ways. To notice this magic we just need be a little extra alert and there the crystal ball makes it all clear.

We begin our life with magical stories. All the fairytales were probably the best thing that ever happened to you for a long long time and thanks to Disney it’s much much prettier than your imagination!!

Trust is a fragile thing, once earned it affords us tremendous freedom. But once it’s lost the damage is beyond repair. Of course the truth is that we never know who we can trust.  It’s the dilemma of this trust quotient that allows the ones who are closest to us are ones who can betray us and those who are total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end most people decide to trust themselves only. That’s what the magic in you can do to you. you have to trust yourself and the magic in you at all times else the suspicions can end in tragedy and the shallow trust you show in others without having total faith in your own self will be put to trial at every step in life…

Magic no magic, the life goes on…. Well actually the true thing to say would be that whether you have noticed the magic of your life or not,,, life still does go on…! It does takes us to be in the darkest moments of our life to see the magic of light. We all have it within us, but not all of us see it.

Sometimes the only magic we seek is magic itself!

The good witch though a witch… is good. Is trying to fix people, things and the town of Middleton on the whole!! The simple reason why she could fix things was not only because she is the witch but because she knows what she wants and who she wants and how to get that… with us, the humans, the situation is that we are all searching for someone, that special companion, some kind of assistance and safety. Depending on the will with which you seek magic and how clearly you see that magic inside is the effort with which we search. There are times when we are searching very hard… and we do find all three. Sometimes when we fail miserably in finding any of this and we resort to praying that they find us…! At this point we depart from our own magical strengths… we lose the good witch within us and crave for help in desperate ways… those are the moments if not dealt well can turn the good witch in us into an evil one…!

To know if u are still working with good magic or black magic, if you are the good witch or the evil twin is very simple, u just need to know if u r desperate in seeking what you crave for or are u in the process of evolving yourself at the right pace…!

May the good witch live long !!

 

What did you want to become as a child?

What did you want to become as a child? An astronaut...  a musician… a ballet dancer… a driver… a painter… teacher… nurse… doctor…and the list is long if we all start naming them all. I guess a couple of hundred words would only be the names of various professions… or at least what we thought as kids were professions… like I wanted to be the person who gets to turn the lights out of sun, so then the moon and stars can be seen!!

Well… I haven’t decided to go down the memory lane and think of all the “cute” childhood things. Well that’s a fact and no amount of writing about it or talking about it can make it less cherish able… the thought really is if we adore our childhood so much and we have so many fond memories from our childhood and for some of us till date the happy place in life happens to be a childhood memory, then why are we so insensitive to our or other kids!! What changes in us… what ruins us as a grown up! What takes our intellect away as we grow older, what takes our patience, our love, our passion, our creativity the faith the hope away… just as we begin to add days to our lives and inches to our waistline!

This thought doesn’t really apply only to those who have kids, even if you are just a grownup – at least so u’d think u are…  do u still dream as passionately as u use to as a kid, do still love somebody so truly as u use to love ur mom n dad when u were little…

I am learning the art cum science of forgiveness from my three and a half year old! All I have to do to get his forgiveness is genuinely say sorry and its okay. However, as grownups we remember what happened, who did it, when and how it happened, whose fault was it and so much many facts as if every tiny incidence of life has to be argued in front of the finest jury of the world – so u better be all prepared at all times!!

However, when we seek an apology from a kid a genuine sorry does it all. The child’s faith in you is unshaken by doubts, worldly realities, probabilities and all the other tricks we normally play to get out of  any mess

Let me ask you this – if I ask you to draw me a picture of your mom and dad, will you do it?

Except for those who majored in fine arts or those who very strongly believe that their drawing is a great – these two categories can be parked aside for a while. The rest of you… ? Will you draw?

Okay let’s simplify – draw me a cow? Okay an insect? Okay a flower at least??

Some people after a long silly conversation of proving how horrible their drawing skills are, and after a disclaimer that you are not responsible for the awful looking piece of art and after completely neglecting the concept and the thought that’s been requested -  might draw and some would refuse still and not draw at all. Why??

Ask a three year old – draw me a picture of your mom and dad – bam! In a couple of minutes the full portrait is ready with fancy colors! Kind of a simple thought – but worth giving a second thought... It’s our own grown up judgments, our own inhibitions, and our self-proclaimed territories that make us feel uselessly big or depressingly tiny.  We decide our safe zones and we don’t mess with our impression management at all times. We do not care about the emotions to appear on that sheet of paper. We are worried about the perfect bends and curves to ensure a perfect picture. So then it’s no longer about drawing a family portrait – it becomes personal – it’s now about “your drawing skills”. Happiness similarly is not a blessing, it’s a choice.

Funnily enough or rather ironically enough when we are tiny we are very good at abstract thoughts and comprehend the big picture so well. The more the thought are random the more we enjoy it, and the better we relate to them however as we grow old the only thing we seem to be able to relate to is “numbers”. Yeah yeah… even the so called – I hate numbers or I hate math people are all about numbers. So if your child comes and tells you I have a new friend, what’s that you want to know? What are his likes, how does he sound like, does he also enjoy collecting butterflies…? All these essential matters are insignificant to you. Think harder – you would actually be asking the kid all the questions related to numbers – how old is your friend, where does he live, how many brother sisters does he have and so on…! Strangely as we grow up whether you are a math person or not – it all ends up being about numbers.

I think it wouldn’t be too far from reality to say that as we grow old we start becoming more and shallower from a fully creative child. We like our misfortune to be taken seriously. We desire and dream about simpler things like food, house, money etc. We no longer want to go on stars or no longer want to figure out the name of the lady who sits on the moon with a spinning wheel.

It’s reasonable to agree that sensibility lies in getting a dental insurance rather than hoping for the tooth fairy’s arrival yet there is something inside of us which is born pure and boundless, which fades as we graduate into a grownup.

Revive your dreams, believe in the child who you use to be then the world would seem more colorful and dreams more achievable – no matter what they are.

Had some kid not insisted on wanting to go to the moon – today we would not be playing with the dust of mars and Venus as well!!