Magic of 15 Minutes

Ever felt so overwhelmed that you knew that you don’t need a weekend but may be 10 uninterrupted days… to take care of home, kids, work, other chores and not even counting a moment of peace with your own self!! The problem is in that state of mind even [I know hypothetical] but even if you did get those 10 days you wouldn’t have accomplished half of what you’d like to do.

Well as much as it is, it isn’t my Sunday evening anxiety. It was like a – “eureka moment” this afternoon when I got more done in a few hours than what I did all weekend!

Well mostly my Sunday’s are more productive because my Panic monster wakes up at that time. Like how Tim Urban mentioned in his TED Talk, my Panic monster wakes up at the right time, and truly takes care of all my procrastinations.

Well back to the real deal – the success mantra – 15 minutes!

So let’s start with a simple confession – I like lists. I like to make lists about everything I have to do – work, home, chores… you name it. What ends up happening there is I end up having many lists – soon perhaps a list to manage my lists! Ouch... let’s hope it doesn’t go that far!

So, the thing with these lists is I always know what all is due and I am constantly worrying about all that “still” needs to be done.

While I was making something in the microwave [ok, don’t judge, I am a working mom, with an Indian husband – they don’t do household chores!! – so I do “at times” cook stuff in microwave] – well anyways, when I set the timer to 5 minutes I was just beginning to unloading the dishwasher – to my surprise, it took me 3 mins to finish and I came back to the microwave with 2 mins to spare…! Kaboom! I just got more time to select what was I going make tomorrow morning so I can do some prepping. The finish tone of the microwave led me to this amazing game of timing all I do – so now I started timing myself for everything I had to do.

Nothing – trust me nothing in the house was a job that took more than 15 mins at once.  

I tried this with every single household chores, activities with kids, everything – well to be honest I have 2 boys and their attention span is smaller than a goldfish!! So just lucked out on that one. Anyways, to my surprise I did In fact, got more things done than ever before. I sat down for 15 mins slots during the day for my emails – better than constantly checking them on the phone and forgetting or marking a flag and then worrying you have to work on it.

My cooking prep – 15 mins, ironing for the week – 15 mins – you name it!

The key is not to make everything a project of your life time. I use to do that. Not being able to take things one at time and trying to just get on with it – instead making it is the biggest project and a matter of life and death is the biggest monkey business of all times. It gets in the way of doing almost everything.

The truth is not everything needs 15 mins – there are so many bigger projects in life that would need all your time, attention and dedication. However, the magic lies in getting these 15 mins chores done so they don’t come to haunt you while you are concentrating on your bigger more important projects. When I was done with my 15 mins items from my multiple long lists I was left with the few I really wanted to work on.

For those cynics reading this and getting tactical – yes not everything is 15 mins, but If some are more than 15 then some are less than 15 mins J

Well like all good thoughts in life – some may apply to you some won’t – If this one does, I’m glad to have taken the 15 mins to write this one out!!

Happy Sunday!!

Oops ! I fractured my motivation!

What really motivates you? We all know we need motivation to do almost anything in life. As clinched as it sounds but we all follow someone, look up to someone and want to be like someone - sometimes we want to be everything but like the ones we know! That too counts as motivation by the way

As much as it’s a much talked about and much needed concept, I am not after it today. I have been thinking about the peripheral concepts or the sidebars if you will. I believe motivation is the first cousin of happiness. The way you approach happiness in life is going to be more or less the way in which you would approach motivation. 

Not to simplify that happy people are motivated and motivated people are happy but it wouldn’t hurt to connect the dots. 

The first peripheral concept is our expectation from every leader in our life to be the reason for your motivation. Now not everyone who is in a leadership role is actually a leader. Needless to say they may not be in that place where they are able to motivate others, at times even themselves. Basically our expectation is that every one in a significant position would have attained self actualization. So these people have a more efficient perception of reality, are more accepting of themselves and others, appreciate life and our guided by their inner goals and are able to uplift the others around them - sounds familiar - self motivated & able to motivate others around them :)

So now i have added a third concept that i am saying are synonymous - happiness, motivation & self actualization. 

Think about the leader who influences you the most. Do you think they are able to motivate you, they bring out the best in you, you wish you could be like them some day and thats all that would make you successful and happy! It’s all connected - you believe that your success - derived by motivation and your happiness through this self actualization is all that you work for, all that your desire and deserve…

Now also think about a similarly significant leader who you expected to have motivated you, help you “arrive” in your career or maybe even your life that would bring happiness - none of that happens. You feel betrayed, you expected this leader to be super happy in life and have achieved all they could and are now to guide and mentor people like you - well same logic, just because they are in that leadership role doesn’t mean they are really leaders. 

The concept is just like the quote - “you want to be happy - then be” - You wanna be motivated - then be, you want to rise above and beyond where you are, then do it. It’s in your hands and your control and not in your current leader or anyone else’s. However, we like to complicate it - we like to have expectations and then proceed with disappointments - thats quite a side effect. 

The good news is there is no preset rule that your supervisor needs to be self actualized before you do… !

The leader in you is nurtured by the influence and impact you create, the passion you bring to the table and is not confined by the boundaries of your designation or title. The way you define yourself as a leader is by the standard you set for yourself, how motivated you are and how happy you feel doing what you do. 

Yet again, i have added another term that i believe joins the gang with being a synonym here - passion. 

If you do what are passionate about you are happy, when you do something that makes you happy, you are motivated to do more of it, when you do more and more of something & stay happy while you do it, you attain self actualization - then all that remains is to go beyond your self and guide mentor and groom others - motivate others. 

The difference is very simple - those who are meagre leaders like to be the most knowledgeable in the room, those who are self actualized would know if they are the most knowledgeable person in the room - they are in the wrong room. 

My take don’t limit your vision for leaders around those with titles look for them in those who impact, influence and make it happen. 

Kung Fu Panda and Leadership Skills

I having been mulling over the concept of how two totally different personalities get to work along with each other so well. Something we all have come across a few times in our lives. At times we would notice and then let it go. I was particularly intrigued by these two leaders I once worked with – with strikingly different personalities, I mean literally so different that each one would blow your mind in a good – but – very different way. I was immensely impressed by both, loved working with both and learned a lot from both. One super chatty and humorous the other extremely scanty with words, wise and sarcastic…! Freaking – ALL the things I Love!!

While I drove back home through this beautiful road filled with vibrant fall colors all the thoughts about leaders and work started to fade away just like the pretty leaves I was admiring.

It was my day to pick up kids and with everything else going on and the husband still at work I gave into the kids begging to watch a movie on a school night. We all agreed to settle with Kung Fu Panda as we ate dinner in front of the TV – there goes rule number 2!!

As I started watching the movie with the boys my thoughts from earlier that day about the differences in the leadership and personalities came back for some reason. Perhaps, as I realized the movie is based on simple principles of success and leadership – that apply anywhere from alternate china populated by anthromorphic animals to the real time corporate world.

Po – our dear Panda from this movie is a passionate, enthusiastic, very big and very clumsy – yet the biggest fan of Kung Fu and extremely well read who knows all about the masters and all that has ever existed about Kung Fu. In what seems like a tragic accident he gets picked as the dragon master who is prophesized to bring peace to the valley. He is obviously picked by this grand master on his way out to “nirvana” Oogway – a turtle. His selection is majorly despised by the current Kung Fu trainer / master [in our parlance the current boss] Sheefoo – a rat - Apparently because he has been training his own 5 Kung Fu experts to be the next dragon warier – who according to Oogway din make the cut compared to our “Big Fat Panda”

 

 

Now at the outset of these movies – yes there are more than one of these movies, it seems like here is a disaster hero who got lucky and because this is the hero of the movie they have got to have him win in the end.

Interestingly, there is a more insightful way of looking at it.

Po – the panda is not visually appealing to be a kung Fu expert, he has zero discipline, has a great sense of humor, loves food, and yadi yadi ya… all the stuff that makes us all the inferior breed of leaders in the current perceptions and popular definition of great leaders…

However, all throughout these movies he ultimately has an upper edge to all the other far better trained kung Fu folks cause he is the most well-read amongst them all, is inquisitive, doesn’t hesitate to ask questions - even the awkward ones, enjoys all his passions and truly takes comforts in his choices – whether it’s collecting facts about all the masters or eating or even lazing around – he does them all with absolutely honesty.

It happens with a lot of leaders – they are very good at what they do, they are pretty much invincible in their technique. However, there are some who are constantly learning, exploring and adding to their knowledge base. Like how they say, “If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room”. Every single leader I have ever looked up to – read at the least one book a week – that’s 54 books every year!!

Po here is a big fan of all his colleagues / friends / team members and even his enemies that he needs to fight. The last one is the most interesting one, he is so passionate about Kung Fu that he knows the whole history, moves and the great abilities & short comings of his enemies too. That gives him a certain edge – the power of knowledge, makes him a respectable and to an extent a likeable opponent – something we all might enjoy – a great across the table moment with a worthy intellectual opponent.

The concept of the dragon scroll – which supposedly was the secret power that would have made dragon warier invincible turns up empty and it reflected Po’s own face – the point being - no matter how much you have studied or learned something, no matter how much experience you have, what excellent stuff you and your team put together – the key is how do YOU create a differentiator.  The simple fact that this particular pitch is being made by you or the training is being led by you or a meeting that is being facilitated by you – what is your individual contribution to up the game?

Once you do get in the big dream come true role – that a few others have been prepping for a substantial amount of time how do you treat them – in this case Po continues to acknowledge their skills and abilities and the respect is a constant high for what they have been training all their lives.

Are you able to use your emotions to your benefit – the whole aspect of emotional intelligence is the same to me like work life balance – you never know what’s really good enough.

I could go on and on and on – the little girl inside me is jumping up and down in awe of the movie that made her connect with the passionate grown up corporate woman – who likes to dream big just like Po!

Finally, it brings me back to the thought that started this whole thought process – the two leaders I started our little chat with – I believe now I know why they get along so well professionally even though every atom in their personality is different. It’s because they both have something in common – the basic values of a great leader – respect, passion and integrity. Seems I finally have solved my riddle of how am I equally amazed by two totally different leaders?

Well, the thing is they may be totally different personalities – but they are not totally different leaders.

Thanks for stopping by, keep up the leader in you and take the time to enjoy the cartoons… J

 

Only Me ruchi: Stay in your Lane

Only Me ruchi: Stay in your Lane: It’s been a busy week..! I am so tempted to complete that sentence by “at work” but that won’t be necessarily true. It’s convenient to b...

Stay in your Lane

It’s been a busy week..! I am so tempted to complete that sentence by “at work” but that won’t be necessarily true. It’s convenient to blame work for your lack of hours in the day. Although, that may not be completely true. We all have tons to do at home, for our self, for the kids and then a busy day at work may seem to hit on your last nerve. My long distance commute and exhausted brain got me to think that what really exhausts us may not necessarily be the number of hours at work or the list of chores that patiently awaits your coming home, it could simply be a stumble upon someone’s nose that you happen to find in your business.

Strangely enough, all that we need to for our personal sanity and all the way up to “world peace” is one simple mantra – “Stay in your lane” – mind your own business, do not mess with others! Yeah, you read that right, the amount of energy it takes to mess with others life can be draining enough for you – you may not realize it in the moment of getting the cheap thrills of messing with others, but life for you isn’t good either when you mess with others.

Think of the simple analogy in real sense for a bit – you are driving on a freeway at an average speed of 70-75 miles/hr.  Life is good, moving ahead smooth and steady, you know nothing needs to change for a good number of miles. When does the trouble begin? Only when either you or someone around you refuses to stay in the lane! Simple!

Life my friend is just the same – stay in your lane and life is good! The trouble in life happens when either you enter a different lane or when someone else enters your lane… just like you know that people are clueless about your life, your life choices and the good bad and ugly that you’ve been through – you equally have no idea what their journey has been like! So quit messing around and mind your own damn business.

As annoying as it is to have someone else poke their nose into your life, it’s probably even more exhausting when you do the same to others. Entering another lane isn’t easy in heavy traffic on a freeway. You take calculated risks, you have to time it well and you need to avoid accidents by all means. If you end up making a mistake you are going to have to pay for it. If you think too much is going on, take a break and think – have you been visiting too many other lanes lately –if the answer is yes, stop right away. Maybe it’s time to visit the rest area – go get coffee…

Interestingly enough, this is also the mantra for your professional success. Every successful & accomplished person you think about did what they had to do and not everyone else’s job. Everyone you see struggling at work or having a rough day at work is either dealing with someone trying to break into their lanes or is troubled because they themselves are trying to barge into someone else’s lane.

When people focus on their job, their deliverables without focusing on everyone else’s job the only way out is success. When people live their own lives without focusing on others the outcome is happiness!

Stay in your lane and keep moving forward!

 

 

The Good Witch

So I was having this quite Sunday evening  and surprisingly enough I had the TV left alone for me. For some strange reason Shaury had decided to play with his toys, explore his books and do everything else but watch TV!! What’s even more surprising is that at that very moment there was actually something nice on tv!! So I sat down to watch the series of “The Good Witch”.

The movie just reassured my belief in magic. Ah, don’t worry am not going to turn this blog into one of those Harry Potter kind series – although I enjoyed all the movies, but still – NO. That’s not the kind of magic I am talking about. The simple belief that – all that happens, happens for good – is a sort of magic, a mother putting a baby down to sleep is magic, a smell from long long ago reminding you of summers at your granny’s is magic, in the deepest darkest times you still hope for good is magic, you finding the love of your life in the strangest ways is magic!!

There is a lil bit of magic in every walk of life. We all believe in it in our own secret and discrete ways. To notice this magic we just need be a little extra alert and there the crystal ball makes it all clear.

We begin our life with magical stories. All the fairytales were probably the best thing that ever happened to you for a long long time and thanks to Disney it’s much much prettier than your imagination!!

Trust is a fragile thing, once earned it affords us tremendous freedom. But once it’s lost the damage is beyond repair. Of course the truth is that we never know who we can trust.  It’s the dilemma of this trust quotient that allows the ones who are closest to us are ones who can betray us and those who are total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end most people decide to trust themselves only. That’s what the magic in you can do to you. you have to trust yourself and the magic in you at all times else the suspicions can end in tragedy and the shallow trust you show in others without having total faith in your own self will be put to trial at every step in life…

Magic no magic, the life goes on…. Well actually the true thing to say would be that whether you have noticed the magic of your life or not,,, life still does go on…! It does takes us to be in the darkest moments of our life to see the magic of light. We all have it within us, but not all of us see it.

Sometimes the only magic we seek is magic itself!

The good witch though a witch… is good. Is trying to fix people, things and the town of Middleton on the whole!! The simple reason why she could fix things was not only because she is the witch but because she knows what she wants and who she wants and how to get that… with us, the humans, the situation is that we are all searching for someone, that special companion, some kind of assistance and safety. Depending on the will with which you seek magic and how clearly you see that magic inside is the effort with which we search. There are times when we are searching very hard… and we do find all three. Sometimes when we fail miserably in finding any of this and we resort to praying that they find us…! At this point we depart from our own magical strengths… we lose the good witch within us and crave for help in desperate ways… those are the moments if not dealt well can turn the good witch in us into an evil one…!

To know if u are still working with good magic or black magic, if you are the good witch or the evil twin is very simple, u just need to know if u r desperate in seeking what you crave for or are u in the process of evolving yourself at the right pace…!

May the good witch live long !!

 

What did you want to become as a child?

What did you want to become as a child? An astronaut...  a musician… a ballet dancer… a driver… a painter… teacher… nurse… doctor…and the list is long if we all start naming them all. I guess a couple of hundred words would only be the names of various professions… or at least what we thought as kids were professions… like I wanted to be the person who gets to turn the lights out of sun, so then the moon and stars can be seen!!

Well… I haven’t decided to go down the memory lane and think of all the “cute” childhood things. Well that’s a fact and no amount of writing about it or talking about it can make it less cherish able… the thought really is if we adore our childhood so much and we have so many fond memories from our childhood and for some of us till date the happy place in life happens to be a childhood memory, then why are we so insensitive to our or other kids!! What changes in us… what ruins us as a grown up! What takes our intellect away as we grow older, what takes our patience, our love, our passion, our creativity the faith the hope away… just as we begin to add days to our lives and inches to our waistline!

This thought doesn’t really apply only to those who have kids, even if you are just a grownup – at least so u’d think u are…  do u still dream as passionately as u use to as a kid, do still love somebody so truly as u use to love ur mom n dad when u were little…

I am learning the art cum science of forgiveness from my three and a half year old! All I have to do to get his forgiveness is genuinely say sorry and its okay. However, as grownups we remember what happened, who did it, when and how it happened, whose fault was it and so much many facts as if every tiny incidence of life has to be argued in front of the finest jury of the world – so u better be all prepared at all times!!

However, when we seek an apology from a kid a genuine sorry does it all. The child’s faith in you is unshaken by doubts, worldly realities, probabilities and all the other tricks we normally play to get out of  any mess

Let me ask you this – if I ask you to draw me a picture of your mom and dad, will you do it?

Except for those who majored in fine arts or those who very strongly believe that their drawing is a great – these two categories can be parked aside for a while. The rest of you… ? Will you draw?

Okay let’s simplify – draw me a cow? Okay an insect? Okay a flower at least??

Some people after a long silly conversation of proving how horrible their drawing skills are, and after a disclaimer that you are not responsible for the awful looking piece of art and after completely neglecting the concept and the thought that’s been requested -  might draw and some would refuse still and not draw at all. Why??

Ask a three year old – draw me a picture of your mom and dad – bam! In a couple of minutes the full portrait is ready with fancy colors! Kind of a simple thought – but worth giving a second thought... It’s our own grown up judgments, our own inhibitions, and our self-proclaimed territories that make us feel uselessly big or depressingly tiny.  We decide our safe zones and we don’t mess with our impression management at all times. We do not care about the emotions to appear on that sheet of paper. We are worried about the perfect bends and curves to ensure a perfect picture. So then it’s no longer about drawing a family portrait – it becomes personal – it’s now about “your drawing skills”. Happiness similarly is not a blessing, it’s a choice.

Funnily enough or rather ironically enough when we are tiny we are very good at abstract thoughts and comprehend the big picture so well. The more the thought are random the more we enjoy it, and the better we relate to them however as we grow old the only thing we seem to be able to relate to is “numbers”. Yeah yeah… even the so called – I hate numbers or I hate math people are all about numbers. So if your child comes and tells you I have a new friend, what’s that you want to know? What are his likes, how does he sound like, does he also enjoy collecting butterflies…? All these essential matters are insignificant to you. Think harder – you would actually be asking the kid all the questions related to numbers – how old is your friend, where does he live, how many brother sisters does he have and so on…! Strangely as we grow up whether you are a math person or not – it all ends up being about numbers.

I think it wouldn’t be too far from reality to say that as we grow old we start becoming more and shallower from a fully creative child. We like our misfortune to be taken seriously. We desire and dream about simpler things like food, house, money etc. We no longer want to go on stars or no longer want to figure out the name of the lady who sits on the moon with a spinning wheel.

It’s reasonable to agree that sensibility lies in getting a dental insurance rather than hoping for the tooth fairy’s arrival yet there is something inside of us which is born pure and boundless, which fades as we graduate into a grownup.

Revive your dreams, believe in the child who you use to be then the world would seem more colorful and dreams more achievable – no matter what they are.

Had some kid not insisted on wanting to go to the moon – today we would not be playing with the dust of mars and Venus as well!!