Only Me ruchi: Are you the good witch...

Only Me ruchi: Are you the good witch...: So I was having this quite Sunday evening   and surprisingly enough I had the TV left alone for me. For some strange reason Shaury had dec...

Are you the good witch...

So I was having this quite Sunday evening  and surprisingly enough I had the TV left alone for me. For some strange reason Shaury had decided to play with his toys, explore his books and do everything else but watch TV!! What’s even more surprising is that at that very moment there was actually something nice on tv!! So I sat down to watch the series of “The Good Witch”.

The movie just reassured my belief in magic. Ah, don’t worry am not going to turn this blog into one of those Harry Potter kind series – although I enjoyed all the movies, but still – NO. That’s not the kind of magic I am talking about. The simple belief that – all that happens, happens for good – is a sort of magic, a mother putting a baby down to sleep is magic, a smell from long long ago reminding you of summers at your granny’s is magic, in the deepest darkest times you still hope for good is magic, you finding the love of your life in the strangest ways is magic!!

There is a lil bit of magic in every walk of life. We all believe in it in our own secret and discrete ways. To notice this magic we just need be a little extra alert and there the crystal ball makes it all clear.

We begin our life with magical stories. All the fairytales were probably the best thing that ever happened to you for a long long time and thanks to Disney it’s much much prettier than your imagination!!

Trust is a fragile thing, once earned it affords us tremendous freedom. But once it’s lost the damage is beyond repair. Of course the truth is that we never know who we can trust.  It’s the dilemma of this trust quotient that allows the ones who are closest to us are ones who can betray us and those who are total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end most people decide to trust themselves only. That’s what the magic in you can do to you. you have to trust yourself and the magic in you at all times else the suspicions can end in tragedy and the shallow trust you show in others without having total faith in your own self will be put to trial at every step in life…

Magic no magic, the life goes on…. Well actually the true thing to say would be that whether you have noticed the magic of your life or not,,, life still does go on…! It does takes us to be in the darkest moments of our life to see the magic of light. We all have it within us, but not all of us see it.

Sometimes the only magic we seek is magic itself!

The good witch though a witch… is good. Is trying to fix people, things and the town of Middleton on the whole!! The simple reason why she could fix things was not only because she is the witch but because she knows what she wants and who she wants and how to get that… with us, the humans, the situation is that we are all searching for someone, that special companion, some kind of assistance and safety. Depending on the will with which you seek magic and how clearly you see that magic inside is the effort with which we search. There are times when we are searching very hard… and we do find all three. Sometimes when we fail miserably in finding any of this and we resort to praying that they find us…! At this point we depart from our own magical strengths… we lose the good witch within us and crave for help in desperate ways… those are the moments if not dealt well can turn the good witch in us into an evil one…!

To know if u are still working with good magic or black magic, if you are the good witch or the evil twin is very simple, u just need to know if u r desperate in seeking what you crave for or are u in the process of evolving yourself at the right pace…!

May the good witch live long !!

Be true to someone....

Suddenly a streak of light ran through her face. The shine of the tiny beam of the sun disturbed the happy deep sleep that embraced all worries all the dreams all the love all the sadness that made Naomi who she was.
Even before the bright green eyes opened she did a quick mental calculation of time for all that she has to do before she can get back at the tapestry she had been working on and strangely was getting hugely attached to. But life isn’t exactly as simple as the final version of the tapestry it’s more like the tricky weaving to get the right combinations of threads and colors.
She wiped her tears not really sure why did they decide to show off their trickling skills first thing in the morning. Like always she gathered herself together, with numerous incomplete thoughts, little lost, little confused and yet smiling like the morning sun.
The fresh fruits in the garden spread their sweet fragrance throughout the large beautiful house. As Naomi got on with the various morning chores the train of thought took her back to her happy place. Actually there was something about the smell of the morning coffee it took her back to her mom’s hundreds of miles away in a tiny village of France. The free mornings there the pampering the love the randomness of life… The usual music that would be on every morning, the sibling quarrels, the disagreement on breakfast and lunch menus, the ganging up in naughty affairs, the crying the not talking the cuddles the beatings the dresses and the smiles…she missed being at home! Suddenly the sound of the doorbell got her back to the present time. She stood there confused – this was her home, this is where she belonged, lived, had a family what’s this about this one thought that kept coming back to her at the most unexpected at the most random hour forcing her to miss “home”!!
She opened the door not noticing anything outside of the door, and walked back to the kitchen. It was Eric with a huge bunch of countless colorful tulips – Naomi’s favorite flowers. It was her birthday today. Eric had learned to deal with Naomi – love her for who she was and even for who she wasn’t… she was caring but particular, loving but not unconditionally, passionate but not too accommodating, helping but choosy … it was a weird combination of good and bad.
At noon when Naomi could finally sit peacefully with her tapestry she smiled. There was a strange connection that was building between the peace of art and her heart. She felt as if her heart was pouring out through the colors and the design on the cloth was actually an outcome of an unconscious conversation between the needle and her heart. She herself wondered how this would end, what would it finally look like, and with a strange ironical feeling be sad as she dint want this tapestry to finish… She was finally talking, talking honestly, without any fear, and was loving it…
All good and bad things come to an end, so did the tapestry – one late night, Naomi sat on the stairs of the veranda leading to the beautiful garden, the full moon light shining on every single flower and leaf of the garden. The tip of her needle was glowing like a tiny diamond sword; the water in the pond in the center of the garden peacefully homed the shadow of the moon unwillingly sharing the room with just one more star. Naomi wondered in bewilderment… she had been sitting there for some hours and had not woven a single thread in all that time. She looked at the piece of cloth with a strange work of art on it that made her smile… that got a tiny droplet of tear in her eye – something deep inside her heart was at peace… and that’s when she was convinced that this was the end of it. She sew no more… she was okay to let this look the way it sat in her lap so bright and shiny and dynamic and yet so quite…!!


The tapestry is exactly how u imagined it to be when u started reading this :)

Only Me ruchi: A date with yourself

Only Me ruchi: A date with yourself: Joe decided to go for a stroll in the park near his house. The idea of a walk was tiring; somehow he still decided to go ahead. It’s been a ...

A date with yourself

Joe decided to go for a stroll in the park near his house. The idea of a walk was tiring; somehow he still decided to go ahead. It’s been a while since he had spent some quality time with himself. As he grabbed his jacket a bazillion thoughts run past his mind. It’s only when he tripped on one of the stair he realized he had already locked the house and was out half way to the park.

The noise on the street, the traffic, buzzing of people all around him, seemed loud enough yet nothing could distract him enough. He was still thinking about the unfinished painting he had been working on for days now. The story of unfinished business is kind of catchy. Before you know it you have already thought of all the things that seem to have stuck en route – books, holiday plans, goals, dreams, wishes, desires, thoughts, conversations and plenty more.

The train of thoughts in Joe’s head seemed to be running faster than the TGV in France. The serenity of the park appeared to have ignited the brain work more. It was almost a compulsive behavior to link all the unfinished business in life to his incapacities. This is what disturbed him. He had achieved enough in life. He was one of the best student in school, the most applauded kid at home, had done all he could in his capacity to be a great friend to few folks he wanted to, achieved enough and more accolade in career, a caring and loving father, the prince charming kind of husband..!!

Everyone around him seemed more than happy with him yet something was still missing…

Peace of mind, satisfaction, or maybe some kind of actualization of the self!

All the happiness in life and the picture of the perfect life seemed to appear in black & white – something deep inside yearned for the colors in life!

By now Joe had forgot the count of the number of rounds he took in the park. He sat down on a bench under the mimosa tree. Something about watching random people in the park made him smile. It’s funny how observing people around gives you a quite glimpse into their lives. Their expressions, their frowns, their smiles, the tiny giggles, the lost lonely ones… they all tell a story, you just need to step out of your own pre-occupied minds and you see a world full of interesting stories.

These random observations drifted from people to two sparrows totally engrossed in making their nest. The two sparrows kept struggling, working hard and gradually giving the nest a final shape. Their passion and undivided attention until they finished working on the nest was astonishing.

Joe almost felt a connection with the birds. It compelled him to simplify life. We all are born into nests made by someone else, nests which are someone else’s dreams… these dreamers want one thing – your safety, and offer you bundles of love and care.

Give it moment think about your parents, what do they ask of you – some would say “nothing” and some would say “quite a lot” – net net – less or more all connects to a single thought – “you” should be happy and safe!

The same thing gets instilled in you – you work hard, you give your best to life, to work, to home, to family to make sure those who constitute to make your life – your dream, the ones who give a purpose to your life should be happy and safe.

Like a light bulb that lights on Jerry’s head as in “tom & jerry show”, a light bulb lit on Joe’s head!! Looks like he had done a lot to claim the best in all spheres of life, yet life is not only about building the best nest… Bringing in the best food once the eggs hatch… It’s much more than that. Tons more!!

Joe contemplated – is it about spending quality time with friends & family… he was sure doing that, and hence was the best at home and outside of home - both. He knew this concept was much larger than just doing all the right things for the right people.

Life is not about duties and responsibilities alone. It’s also not about the well-defined rules of society and our value system.

It’s your life... It’s about you…!

The sad part is we realize this only after a lot of life has passed, coz till then you are only running to make sure all that needs to be done, must be done – is not only done, but done well!! Bravo!! You did it.

Now welcome back to your life – what do you want to do with it?

Joe thought about the birds again. After a wonderful nest is made, the eggs are laid, they hatch, the tiny birds are fed, they are taught to fly, survive, and live on… the tiny birds fly away!! Leaving the beautiful, painfully made nest behind, the memories of sacrifices made to feed the baby birds, the struggles of protecting the weaklings, the dreams to see them fly high up in the sky…!

But life doesn’t end there, that’s not the only purpose of life – although that is one of the significant things in life since a lot of your life and you gets defined by it… but yet again Joe thought – “my life cannot be only about doing all that I ought to do… there’s got to be a larger purpose to life.”

The purpose was still unidentified – but just the thought of identifying what was the cause of discomfort in his life – Joe felt a sense of relief. He knew what needs to be figured out next. It’s the life that birds need to plan and live after their tiny tots had learned to fly and were gone already! It cannot be a life of meager existence, it had to be more meaningful and richer experience that’s self-fulfilling, satisfying, and peaceful.

Joe got up from the park bench sort of thanking the mimosa tree and the birds with a great smile and started walking back to his house. Even before he could step out of the park a call from work took all his attention and got him engrossed into pushing the team to ensure the numbers were met for the company to achieve the targets. Life as we know it – had taken over yet again.

Joe still had a contented peaceful look on his face as he at least knew what he needs to look for in his life – beyond work, family, love, kids, and duties…

His date with himself at the park ended well… he knew this date could lead to a meaningful relationship with himself!!

When was the last time you took time to date yourself?  J

Only Me ruchi: Emptying your closets

Only Me ruchi: Emptying your closets: About a month ago a friend was shifting base from one continent to another. The most basic thing in such situation, as one would imagine wou...

Emptying your closets

About a month ago a friend was shifting base from one continent to another. The most basic thing in such situation, as one would imagine would be “packing the stuff”.  Well we too had numerous conversations around packing and then timelines and then delaying and then finally packing again. When we had these conversations there was an incomplete thought in my mind which recently finished when I had to pack up my stuff to move base.

The point is not about packing. It’s much larger – it’s about emptying your closets.

Whatever you gathered – you hoarded – you were fixated too… all comes pouring out – when you empty the closets! Things, moments, memories, mistakes, weaknesses, and all that’s ‘you’ and is hidden deep somewhere in some closet. Interestingly all these things neither grow nor die locked in that closet. They just show themselves when you allow them to.

You don’t need to move base to empty your closets – try pouring your heart out to someone – this would lead to sorting of thoughts. But that’s not where it ends… this is just the cleansing process!

The true realizations don’t strike when you are cleaning these closets – that’s just the time of sorting them out – most of the stuff peacefully would settle back in as you would be able to justify in your head that how important all that is to you.

The time to let go happens when you need to pack your life into a couple of suitcases – no lift and shift allowed. That’s when the interesting realization of what belongs with you for life and what doesn’t happens.

Same applies to your heart. In most of the scenarios we behave like movers and packers and safely pack all that’s been with you – whether yours still or not ! You keep carrying the extra load from one destination to another that life takes you to. And every time you land into a new location you come with the same excess baggage and life seems to be a drag of the past.

Do you still think it’s only about letting go? I seriously doubt that. I think it’s about making peace. With who you are and not what you use to be... With your present and not what you would like to do or have… It’s about making peace with your own greatness of having lived an accomplished life, rather than holding on to morsels of stolen moments from the past

It’s much greater than letting go, it’s about continuity of life

Therefore, all that belongs with you for life is only what’s yours now – this moment. No matter how strongly you feel for what was or what ought to be – it’s all going to be safely placed in a closet and not come in handy!

Live in the moment – when there is no baggage no longing no load – you feel so much lighter and you feel free to enjoy life every bit – like a globe trekker.

Looks like it takes a lifetime to know what it really means to travel light! And trust me it all begins with emptying your closets!!

Only Me ruchi: Simply Helping

Only Me ruchi: Simply Helping: It’s too complicated to be simple… “I think all I want in life is pretty basic stuff”…   “I am an open book…”   “I really mean what I say…” ...

Simply Helping

It’s too complicated to be simple… “I think all I want in life is pretty basic stuff”…  “I am an open book…”  “I really mean what I say…”  “I hate hypocrisy…”

Very often we have heard these from a lot of people around us – the so called – claiming to be simple people…! Think again about each person one more time. Really?? No I mean it – really?  Well einh… looks like not simple after all.

All those people claiming to be the simplest around u –and of course this could include yourself too - if you make these statements too J are in reality the most confusing soles in retrospect.

Okay let’s park this thought aside for a moment. Let’s move on to the helping kinds.

Think about all the situations in life when you have felt the need of some help, from someone who has been close preferably – but then as the situation gets desperate you longed for the help of just about anyone. The interesting thing is that this world is a wonderful place. There are quite a few people who would show up – to help!! While you are busy thanking them and your stars for having all the right people in life at the right time and therefore all the much deserved help, you seem to forget the very basic lesson learned in life – rather the very first lesson learnt in life, “there is no free lunch darling!!” 

So basically – no help is free. Big or small… Asked or offered... It all comes with a price tag.  Everyone has an agenda – an ultimate ulterior motive. Some of them are too excited to announce it you and get a negotiation started and some would patiently wait for the right time and then claim it appropriately. When in most cases you end up returning the favor and are in no situation to refuse.

It’s like using up your credit card – it feels awesome to have used that lil extra help that you could not have managed on your own. Then before you know it’s time to return that favor – and mostly at the worst times. So you have three options – return on time – whether you like it or you don’t, return a lil later if you can afford the interest, or else the third option – get black listed and then the life long after effects – mostly again at the most desperate situations!! This is exactly how we return all the help we ever took in life from anyone – near or dear, known or random!

Now let’s step back to the first thought – of claiming to be simple… make a tiny effort to connect the dots. It’s not too different.  All those claiming to be simple are the ones who enjoy all the complications. They are the ones… the most difficult to decipher.  Just like the longest helping hands are the ones with the longest hidden agenda’s – the self-proclaimed simple people have the most complicated intentions and lives.

Talking about all this in no way means you can never have simple people around you or you cannot have a simple life or that you will or should never find help considering the payback. The need of the hour is the need of that hour and the payback can always be worked out. Like most of us have had torturous times paying back those credit card bills yet not most of us have screwed up credit histories.

The only concept that makes sense to me is that it’s okay to fall upon someone; it’s absolutely okay to admit at times that you can’t handle it on your own.  A constant effort to be simple would need a constant effort to know yourself better and more importantly to be more comfortable with yourself. The acceptance of who you are and who you want to be but can’t be – is what really rules the game.

The trick is to still Play on and thus Live on!

Only Me ruchi: Bailing the self

Only Me ruchi: Bailing the self: Just like every night I lay on the bed with my 3 year old to put him to sleep. Of course now was the time for a bed time story. I read him “...

Bailing the self

Just like every night I lay on the bed with my 3 year old to put him to sleep. Of course now was the time for a bed time story. I read him “Plummet”. There was something in that story that touched my heart and put shaurya to sleep…

It talked about Plummet – a flying frog – who couldn’t fly, hence was sad. Later he figured he was just named a flying frog – but was supposed to only jump high from the trees  and glide… he learned about it from a friend and was happy again as the forced inability in life had been negated.

I think a lot of us are like that. We assume roles, talents, beliefs, thoughts, etc. and then keep pushing ourselves to achieve that as per that assumption, which no one forced on you – but u yourself!!

In psychology we use this to define personalities. This tug of war between your true and your ideal self… What you really are and you’d rather be. The funny thing is this tussle – this unsettling feeling is of you with you!! who would you blame – you or you !! J

It’s nice to keep raising the bar, but when you know what is getting judged is you and who is judging you is also you, then how to settle in. On the one hand it gives you that kick of doing something better, continuous improvement and of course the satisfaction – on the other hand it’s a constant reminder of all that’s not so good about u… all that – that must be improved.

The thing with this tussle is that no role, no thought, no belief gets overlooked. You end up scanning yourself so much that you seem to be constantly aware of what’s missing, what needs improvement, what should be completely changed etc. who you love, how u love, what u love, how u work, what u do, every single thing about you is getting scrutinized…

The point is – “u are what u think u are”. Your level of confidence, your self-respect and the most important – your own opinion about yourself is extremely critical to gauge your happiness quotient. Basically how satisfied you are with your own self is a function of your self-respect and your acceptance of your true self minus any comparisons to your ideal self.

The easiest thing in life is to like someone or to dislike someone by a quick process – “opinion making”. Before you know it – you are already making an attempt to change yourself to be like someone or making sure you are not like that disliked someone. Failing to realize that you have spent most of your energy and time in comparing, approving, disapproving life – with no time to having lived it!

Actually each one of us is the way we are for multiple reasons. Unless unavoidable life usually is better – with an attempt to live rather than evaluating if we are living a great life or no.

Imagine writing an exam where after every question you go back and check with everyone in class and try to evaluate which answer is correct and why…. Before u know the time of the exam would be over and u might end up not even looking at the full exam paper – forget attempting them! Maybe you knew most of the answers; maybe u would have dealt with some more important questions so much better. But probably you wasted too much time discussing something relatively petty… or got fixated at just one or two questions with no chance to even look at the full exam paper!!

The only way to get satisfactory scores in the exam of life is to attempt it with your best effort. Without having to worry how others are doing. It’s your life and you are responsible – you succeed by cheating, copying, or your own effort & hard work… any of this should you be your call – and not a sad repeat telecast of someone else’s life.

Is why people who keep peeking into others’ lives and try to copy others’ lives or are busy disapproving someone else’s  life should simply attempt to get a life of their own. Living and liking one’s own life isn’t that boring after all…!

 Stop being “Plummet” – stop feeling sorry for who u think u shud be but u are not. Start being who u are and accepting who u are – then u’ll be able to be what u are capable of being… bail yourself from your own judgment – live free!

 to life... !

Only Me ruchi: Have u evolved in love...!

Only Me ruchi: Have u evolved in love...!: Some say it’s the most amazing experience of life, some say its absolute rubbish, but we all yearn for it, we all need it, we all keep claim...

Have u evolved in love...!

Some say it’s the most amazing experience of life, some say its absolute rubbish, but we all yearn for it, we all need it, we all keep claiming it! I do not want to get philosophical here & to argue if i agree or disagree with love or get even more dramatic - to define love. Clichéd!!!
I am not even sure if i really do have an opinion about it. But i surely have felt it, experienced it, longed for it, shared it, expressed it, hoarded it and at times - been deprived of it!

I do strongly feel for and love the idea of being in love. The concept of being in love is just so amazing. I am sure to a great extent it’s the falling in love – that causes u to fall in love. The world seems a much nicer place; you seem to be willing to forgive, to let go, to smile to

Make people smile and do all the nice things in the world…

The fact is love turns us into a very good human being. It makes you do all the nice things. It makes you suddenly turn into this wonderful person who would never let anything wrong happen to any dear one. It gives u all the strength to deal with all the adversities in life, to come up with fantastic ideas that please all around you. The capacity to deal with tough situations rises to an all-time best.  It dawns upon you that how crucial it is to ensure that the most important thing in life is that you should not be the reason for anyone to be upset.

The worry is the more u wanna take everyone along, and keep almost everyone happy - the more load u sign up to carry on u. Now because “YOU” were the one in love and were feeling on top of the world and “YOU” were prepared to bell the cat of evil and solve world hunger and poverty – u suddenly decided that u r gonna make them all – each and everyone around u – Happy!! Nothing wrong actually, except it’s just a manic state of being or like having smoked pot – where u r continuously high – but on a legalized drug called LOVE…

Here u go – the trouble is u were having a beautiful experience of being in love – that started with you being happy and your partner being happy, but now BAM! You suddenly in your manic state of being decided to extend the happiness to the world and u are no longer the person in love finding happiness in the smallest things of the relationship but you have moved on and have assumed that everyone’s happiness is associated with you being in love. Now is the point when u start doubting your relationship, your love and u start putting it through all the love validation tests.

The simple things in life are often the little things in life. That timely hug, a tiny peck, and a deep look in the eye that touches you till the heart are probably the most beautiful things of the world. They actually make u feel alive. However, as we grow and evolve into this love relation we tend to take these beautiful things for granted and start associating our love to larger things in life. When those larger things cannot be achieved as u wud have imagined, u start doubting the love in your life. Read the last sentence again! Think – what exactly are u expecting? Two people crazy about each other, wanting to care for each other, wanting to love & stay in love with each other – wow lovely! But when your heart determines your state of love to the worldly things - u are comparing oranges and apples! No use is all I can say!

Two people in love, the love u share with your parents, the love for your child – is all so pure and simple. There really are no expectations. It really is just love. When there is an outcome based model associated with it is when the problems start. Am not trying to get all fairy tailish here to say that love by itself will be all pink and flowery and sweet… well I am just saying that it is sweet – as long as its only love and not a medium to live a life as per your conditions with the person u chose to be with u in that picture perfect life.

To enjoy the beauty of love, one needs to stay in love and not just fall in love.  I strongly believe that staying in love is far tougher than just falling in love. Yeah yeah – I agree the newness of falling in love and the newness of that feeling of love obviously is a winner hands down. But how often can u keep falling in love – and then think of all the complications!

The most awesome thing about love is it evolves! It grows on u... it becomes stronger and better by the day. Of all the people who fall in love am sure only a few know to grow and live in love. Like everything else in life love too need to be nurtured and then is when it actually bears fruit.  I guess but patience is not one the most favorite virtues of those in love.  Just look around those who have stayed in love, gone through the ups and downs of life together still staying in love are the ones who truly appreciate love and being in love. They are the true ones who are happy and contented deep within. No regrets, whatsoever…

If you are fixated at the newness and excitement of falling in love, it’s like judging the strength of an iceberg by just the visible tip of the iceberg. Of course your Titanic is sure to sink. If we u wish to keep sailing and reach the destination of love (which by the way in itself can be an equally rich conversation)… you have to have the strength to deal with the love… is maybe why they say that u fall in love – cause that’s only the beginning. To feel the true love and to enjoy it for life u need to keep rising above…

So before I come back with another thought on the destination of love – sit back and think – how far have u evolved in love!!

Love… live… evolve!!

Only Me ruchi: Do u enjoy driving or looking out of the window ?...

Only Me ruchi: Do u enjoy driving or looking out of the window ?...: we all associate pretty well with all the quotes that talk about life being this great journey... the experiences, the various milestones, t...

Do u enjoy driving or looking out of the window ?

we all associate pretty well with all the quotes that talk about life being this great journey... the experiences, the various milestones, taking command on our own life and many more such things. So essentially, we are trying to correlate life to a beautiful or a bumpy - long drive...isn't it? The comparison is valid if you know to drive. In case you do know to drive and u r the one on the wheel for the ride of your life, well then we have a story. A story written, directed, acted by you. This analogy holds true for you and the associated thoughts hold true for you too.

Although if you have been the one associating with the second part of the title - looking out of the window kinds, then this analogy doesn't hold good for obviously! Then you are on your life journey on someone Else's route. The person whosoever, u gave the right to drive ur life is on a journey of his/her life and u seem to be a co-passenger just hitch hiking with no directions of your own, no milestones of your own, no speed breakers to deal with, no red, green signals, no junctions - no no ... not totally true, they will be there, but not yours, not at your time, they will surely be there but they are all borrowed or forced emotions & experiences of life - from the person whose behind the wheel for your life to go on!

I am not convinced for an argument with you to justify either. You know your situation the best. you are the one who made the choice, if u'll drive or if u'll enjoy the view! Even if there is something screaming from deep within that i don't like the view and i definitely din sign up for this route - still u r the person who gave the power the authority and the liberty to someone else to be the driver. What can i say... enjoy the view is all u can do! If you were too shy to take the risks and to deal with consequences of your own driving - too bad! Now the seat is taken...

The best part is some of us get addicted to not having to take a lot of decisions. Enjoying the view till it starts killing you, mile after mile. By the time u realize u & ur life have been hijacked, its again - too late! By the time this realization strikes the driver of your life too has got addicted to not only control his / her life - but also control your life. So now, if you insist to deboard - thinking u'll prob'lly not go on 100 Mile per hour but walk and walk on your own route, decide your own destination and make your own milestones - even though u might end up doing this walking & not driving - well too late - yet again!! cause not this beloved driver of yours is now not going to let u deboard - coz now suddenly the taste of power of ruling let alone ur own but someone Else's life is phenomenal..!!

The interesting thing is that those who are in fact in the driver seat - are confused too. Sometimes wondering when exactly did i claim to know the route?? They keep looking for the sign boards - someone, on the road of life - looking for a hitch hike so they have some company, someone they would eventually feel good about having ruled! They are not sure why is the road so bumpy... when would be the next stop, why am i the one driving, am i suppose to focus on the windshield or the rare view..?? like i said before - there is no right or wrong pick - u chose - u know the best...

The tricky one is when u knew for sure - that for good or for bad u wanna drive ur life, u know the route, u are prepared for all the speed brakes and pretty much aren't concerned about the sign boards. Then suddenly its like u fell asleep on the drive, and wen u wake up u have been safely placed on the pillion seat with someone else now driving ur life on ur route. Its all messed up! You have no clue wat happened on the way that suddenly ripped ur all ur strength away. The blueprint u carried with u at the start of the journey is no longer valid. You can scream, plead or cry now u are going to have to continue this journey at someone Else's directions. The route is changed, the desires no longer mean anything coz u no longer have the control... !  Looking out of the window was never your thing - but now that's all that can save u of the agony of having to see someone else drive ur life far far away...!

The beauty of it all is u never really lose control. Since, all that's happening to you is happening cause u asked for it, u chose it. No one is a victim of life itself. We all live the way we do cause somewhere deep within we have our reasons to live like that. if you have dreams but no courage to realize them - u won't ever live them! If you like to be ruled - u shall be ruled, if u r the one to take command of your own life - no matter if u showed courage half way thru - u shall be able to do so...!

Your life is a function of the choices u make and the situations u come across.

You chose - u live ur life, u look out of the window, or u go in the back seat and sleep! Life is all u ever wanted, u and only u signed up for wat u have.

Only Me ruchi: who is your shoulder

Only Me ruchi: who is your shoulder: A shoulder to cry on…?? A shoulder to shoot from…?? Take whichever, u need someone else to let your emotions out. Be the emotion love or hat...

who is your shoulder

A shoulder to cry on…?? A shoulder to shoot from…?? Take whichever, u need someone else to let your emotions out. Be the emotion love or hate, pain or no pain, happy or sad.. u will always need a shoulder. Emotions have no value if u have no one to show them to. there is no fun in loving anyone, without that person knowing how crazed u have been for him/her... no fun hating anyone if u can’t show it... express it, at least talk about it to someone, if nothing else crib and blame it one someone, but never miss a chance to explain yourself and safe side yourself to ensure – u personally wouldn’t associate yourself with emotions as strong and as negative as “hatred”… it was an outcome of something beyond your control. So far… So good… The trouble is how to express without owning up the major emotional display!!

A simple way is to figure out someone to rest the case on, like we all do. we all have a shoulder - to cry on, for support when u are having some really difficult times, a shoulder to fire from…& for all ur blames to be safely planted on - like they say "the one who is still smiling after being in the craziest situation has someone in mind to be blamed." So you seek a shoulder to make some guy responsible for all the shit that happens in your life. Now this shoulder for blame - can be a situation, can be your luck, can very well be a person, can be God... u have plenty many options... !

The point is we are just too weak to deal with our own emotions. You keep looking for someone to validate them for you. Don’t be surprised; think about it – a simple situation – so how do u react when someone gives a u really grand compliment. Can you take it with ease – say thank you and be happy and move on!! No. Firstly, you’ll deny, u make all kinds of useless statements to deny probably the best compliment you have received in a long time – cause even before you have fully enjoyed it, u immediately start doubting yourself. You can’t believe it – it was about u J

Secondly, you’ll conveniently find a shoulder to rest the cause of why u were able to receive the compliment – u know… “it’s this color that brings a glow to my face,”  u know… “I just think this new dress is really catchy…!!”

 God!! Just say thank you – move on! It’s okay to look good, it’s normal to receive compliments. Why so awkward??

Well this was about a positive emotion – but when it comes to something negative and especially when you are the owner of the emotion – do u really voice it out – without any side bars? Can u express your anger as your own… can u express sadness and still own it up… Or deal with Loneliness… It’s okay to have these emotions – to express them and be comfortable with them.

If you are in fact experiencing a sad moment, day or phase in life – accept it. Deal with it. Maybe you would deal with it poorly, but denying would only complicate matters. You can’t hide or run from your own emotions, your own feelings. But nooooo… instead of assuming the responsibility of your own feelings u run and u run and u run faster to catch someone in the vicinity to blame it all on! So if you are sad – it’s because of some situation, somebody, some damn thing happened which was beyond your control. So the freaking misery was inflicted upon you since according to you by all means – u are immune to all emotions is how u’d rather pretend.  

Why this need for a shoulder, why is that we can’t stand up to & express what we feel, why does u we treat our emotions like creepers that by design won’t be able to stand up on their own. They would always need something or someone to host their lives on just like a parasite to grow on. Why is there so much of awkwardness with oneself? Why does it make us so comfortable being able to blame things on someone why should u not say it with utmost honesty and not worry about what would they think about you!!

Looks like it’s all a function of the choices you make and the kind of social image u wish to maintain… So u are constantly busy managing your public profile – u’ll become so occupied in ensuring that others feel right about you, that in the process u completely, brutally ignore how do u feel about yourself! Does it feel suffocated – with all that’s trapped inside of you, do u feel burdened with the naked truths of your own life?

We have all read written and spoken about the games people play. We all like to be prepared for all the turbulence outside of us. What go unheard are the games we play with our selves. The way we keep looking down upon ourselves. Underestimating our own feelings is only step one to demeaning us that results into just the grand opening of inviting the rest of the world to do the same to you. One fine day when the realization strikes – u start questioning all that’s around you… why the hell am I going through all this. Who exactly gave someone – just about anyone – the right to make me feel so shitty!

Surprise Surprise!! Well you did. Knowingly or not “You” are the one who invited everyone, and gave everyone that right – and now you don’t how to stop the damn circus. You were the one who wasn’t comfortable being on the driver seat of your life. You were the one who looked for a shoulder to ventilate, a shoulder to fire thoughts from to label blames on. The day u assume responsibility of your own good bad ugly being, the true meaning of your living and believing – u shall be a happy person! Don’t know what constitutes your happiness quotient. But you would be a lot less burdened for sure.

Start today, start it at this very moment – all that’s happening in life are the various mesmerizing views of the fantastic journey of life, it’s not life in itself. See it, move on – else u’ll never reach the point that u actually began your journey for. Each emotion, each emotional experience is just one spot from the site seeing options of the holiday that’s called life.

See you at the top!

if this was ur last chance...

The way we behave with people, we live our life and we deal with situations is as if everything is going to be as is for ever...! The shear feeling of permanence is the origin of all pain. Easier said than done, of course the toughest thing in life is to accept change. yea yea.. we all know all the good things about change and have all preached the acceptance of change to ourselves or to someone else in life. Think about the latest conversation you had with anyone to justify change, to justify a living with a loss, with a miss! By no means i say that ur intentions were cruel and not to help this person, but think about it with all genuinity,with an assurance of having the secret buried in your heart for ever, wud u do - as u preached??

We all know all life situations don't mean the same to all, we all carry our own respective baggage's & relate to each situation differently, yet what is preached is always what's ideal - the should have been's of life and not what one cud do with as much ease.. U scream, in an effort to pronounce your ideal self - to tell all that's worth hearing, worth preaching, worth living for! In the process u have already started a journey of drifting away from your own true being. Then comes a point where you seem completely disoriented from your situations and you no longer know the purpose of you being you.

Life is actually very simple, more or less the same for more or less everybody. Its a like a Christmas tree or a wedding gown. They are basically the same. They don't come in too many colors, and its only the decoration on the outside that make them look different... The outside is what in turn starts defining whats beneath..who owns it, and why does it look the way it does. The problem is we start associating our selves with the exterior so much that it starts becoming meaningful.

Strangely the exterior rules our being, our existence so muchh that you don't even realize when the remote control shifted from life to presentation of life. you tend to start getting governed by the way people wud know you than the way you know u'r self. You soon start worrying so  much about all the perceptions about you and the loss of your focus from yourself - and ironically the overkill of the focus on your worldly self create this constant battle in you... of being lonely and yet paying so much attention to self!

What u really wish to connect with is with yourself and what u end up connecting with in all worldly ways is your projection of yourself. Now u can't cease to connect with your outer self cause that's become a way of life, and ur inner self keeps getting neglected. Think again, the standards that you set for someone else in life, are far higher than wat u cud do for yourself. cause there u hv the liberty of preaching all the right things without worrying to implement. so u become this fantastic person with all the bright ideas and wonderful suggestions, but no power, no control to guide your own life...!

Only Me ruchi: What's u'r poison??

Only Me ruchi: What's u'r poison??: No there is really no need to get quirky reading the title… it’s way past that time in life when u are still deciding on what drink, what s...

What's u'r poison??

No there is really no need to get quirky reading the title… it’s way past that time in life when u are still deciding on what drink, what style, what line suits u… there are times when u reach a stage where whether u like it or u don’t u do feel like it or don’t one does go meet head on with all that u were an expert in avoiding. Call it your fears; call it the passion that for all the right reasons you never pursued; love that u keep defining, redefining, finding, losing, missing, and ignoring; the dreams u always wanted to chase but again for all the right excuses u never did anything about; people, moments, memories, places, thoughts, and the list is long…

Ever stopped to think – why not! What makes u run away from certain things – what calls u closer! There is not a single person that you meet in life who you share your dreams with will tell u not to pursue them. The random most conversation with the random most people will make it the most beautiful conversation you ever had with any one – if it was about what really lives inside of your heart.

How often do you listen to your heart? Very commonly preached principle “listen to your heart” is most rarely practiced phenomenon I believe. Do you go ahead and do all that u like to do – Am not talking statistics here, so no point raising your arm and saying “I do”. The thing to nail is simple – what makes you kill what your heart yearns!! What’s the poison killing all that nurtures in your heart?

I think this poison is no such thing that can be directly associated with the thought homicide. It will take more than a Getafix to make a poison potion such as this that kills u from inside. Sometime it’s good to sit back and reflect – what is your poison really – what stops u from being u?

It’s good to be in love, it’s good to be attached, and it’s good to have that connect but in the bargain knowingly or unknowingly u end up losing yourself. You either become like the person u seem connected to or u’ll soon realize that u changed way too much – so much so that now u r no longer u...

We are like water when it comes to emotions and relationships. Without any hard work or a conscious effort you start molding, shaping & coloring like this other person – before u know bam! U have turned into someone that u never were, not the person that u remember being and so different from what you use to be & down within someone that u wouldn’t even want to be. So different from the familiar u that even u can’t relate to yourself… let alone anyone else.

The problem is that’s not it. You start getting addicted to this newness in your life. Somehow this all complicates in to a life baggage. Considering not all of us are brave enough to one fine day wake up and get rid of all that u have collected so far. The house, the material stuff, the people, the memories, the fears, the resentments, the love, the dreams… all…

Change is good, so no complaints. Also, u have been doing all this only to get better and be an exact fit into the mold that your dear ones have – of the perfect person. So good job done there, great achievement. As long as u r happy being perfect from the outside, and as long as u r able to make ur peace losing urself.

Do u really miss the childhood... or do u miss urself!!

when you visit your happy place, or when someone asks you to go back to the best memory of your life, or when someone says what u are today is all about your upbringing, nurturing, experiences... why does it always go back to the childhood memories. Is your childhood the meatiest slice of the pizza called life? Why do people love songs that talk about going back to childhood, being young again, the days that were…strangely all that one can think of as the best time is in retrospect.

I think there is more to it, more than we see, more than we agree to make our peace with. I believe the reason is not a good bad ugly past, the reason is u - Who u use to be. Somehow we understand our self-much better in retrospect. You can always justify your doings in hindsight. all the mistakes u make, all the accolades u take, it’s all about accepting who you are, and why u are.

Today is mostly a function of your current needs, your current mood and your current vision of your future. Hence only when this today has passed into a yesterday u can think straight about it and make your peace with it. Have you ever thought why do some people boast so loudly - 'i have absolutely no regrets in life'. I wonder who are they really having this conversation with?? I think it’s a screaming reassurance to your own self. you want to keep telling yourself that u are a good person, all the good bad ugly that happened in your life couldn't have been more justified in anyone else's life!!.

As kids we could do all that we like, say what we like etc etc. no damage done. It’s always considered "cute" if the kid happens to say the most uninvited truth at the most critical hour in life… we can all laugh at it and move on. As grownups we all worry too much on the consequences, reputation, and a zillion more things. As kids all u could think of is - i feel so, i say so!

Sometimes i wonder was growing up really such a great idea, and sometimes i pray for a few people around me - wish they'd grow up - some day! It’s pretty simple. We like to hide away under the pretext of being a child or an adult – interchangeably and continuously keep blaming the other guy.

Then comes a time when u feel now that i have all the perfect stuff in life, i think i am settled - Material, social, emotional all that you hoard as possessions. In the process you start aligning yourself to your hoardings and start losing your own true self every minute. Then comes a time, when you start missing yourself. Is when it truly gets lonely…

Ever wondered - why is it so difficult for people to understand you, or maybe for you to explain yourself. More often than not you'll still manage to tell someone what u feel but has it always been that easy to tell why u feel the way u feel... It’s because now that u no longer are a kid u think of implications. You want to make sure u r understood, u r not misjudged and there is no damage to your reputation. And there thinking all of that, u have just deprived yourself of having yourself understood by someone, cause you were too pre-occupied with the consequences.

We all keep searching for that one person who really understands you the way you are, knows what u want even before u cud say it, someone u can be yourself with. The interesting thing is we all do find such a person / people. The problem is we outgrow them. After a point in time u end up creating a certain image with this person and then u don’t wanna change it. So u live with it. But u as a person never cease to change, so after this one person has fully understood u - u suddenly start realizing how vulnerable u r and there u go... back into ur shell!!!  Starting to look all over again for someone who will understand u... !

The secret is we all like to say with all genuinity that i am a very simple person and it isn’t a tough thing to understand me - yet we all secretly take pride in showing our social personality to all and keep hiding our true selves behind it. We all want someone to figure us out, without explicitly saying so. Then starts the hypothesis of believing that each person around us has the intellect and the emotional bandwidth to understand us… Then begins the harassment of forced change in life... endless portrayal of wanting to ascend to unachievable levels of greatness, godliness!

finding that right someone is the consequence of well-crafted personal effort, u'll find most of the times adjusting with your own self, telling urself to be a different person than wat u are so that someone will someday know u more than u. strangely u'll realize only after a long time has passed that u have made so many alterations to ur own being that even u can’t relate to yourself anymore.

Sadly then u sit there to be discovered, to be read, to be understood…